There's no denying it: criticism can (and often does) hurt. But no matter what you do in life, you expose yourself to the possibility of being judged unfavorably. Even if you try to remain in the background, avoiding all confrontation, you still must make decisions -- minor ones, maybe, like where you eat and what you wear. And, rest assured, not everyone will agree with your choices.
So, since you are going to receive criticism no matter what, let's take a closer look at how you can best handle (and even benefit from) it!
The next time you are criticized, consider the following points:
Criticism is often nothing more than a reflection of personal preference. Again, regardless of what you do, somebody won't like it. Accept that people have diverse backgrounds, preferences and interests. You won't please everyone, so don't even try.
Don't take it personally. Sure, this is easier said than done. However, the critic generally isn't trying to prove that you have no value as a person. Rather, they're revealing their dislike of your idea or your performance. Let them have their opinions. In the end, you decide whether or not to let another person's remarks bother you.
Strive to learn from their words. Find some truth in their statements -- even if only a shred. There is usually some accuracy in critical comments. The critic may not be tactful, and the remarks may be greatly exaggerated, but there is often helpful information which you can glean. It's your job to seek out this kernel of truth and benefit from it!
Don't be defensive. Resist the temptation to argue with the critic. While it's only natural to try to prove that you are "right" and that the other person is "wrong," this generally gets you nowhere.
Accept that many people focus only on negatives. The critic rarely gives a full, accurate assessment. He or she tends to report only the negatives, even if there are plenty of positives to mention as well. Recognize that some people simply think it's unnecessary to tell you what you've done right. Instead, they focus only on "helping" you -- which, to them, means "correcting" you.
Realize that vicious, harsh comments come from those people who are unhappy with themselves. I've found that mean, angry, insulting remarks spring from unhappy, insecure people. They have to vent their anger and frustration on someone and you've been chosen as today's target! Don't let these people bring you down.
Remember: not everyone will like you, your goals or your actions. But don't let the fear of criticism stop you from doing what you want. Accept criticism as part of life, and learn from it where possible. And, most importantly, stay true to your own values and convictions. If others don't approve, so what! |
